Tuesday, January 04, 2011
♥ 9:44 PM
hello. i think this blog has accompanied me for long enough. maybe coming 5 years? so, i've decided that it's about time for a new environment (: if you wanna continue stalking me please feel free to go to
http://calibeee.livejournal.com/
bye bye(:
Saturday, January 01, 2011
♥ 8:22 PM
Happy 1/1/11!
well, i gotta say that 2010 has indeed been a year full of wonderful memories, experiences, overall, it's indeed been the best year yet. For a start, thank you Father for giving me the best first job on earth (: I really enjoyed this job especially all the special friends i've made here. I know many of you will never see my blog, but still i gotta say, you people made 2010 soooo special for me cox you guys came into my life! and 08S07 girls, this year made me realize how much you girls mean to me. life's soooo sad without you girls with me every day ): no la, it's not that sad. i mean, i wish to be in 08S07 forever if i could (: This has really been the MOST enjoyable year for me. And lastly, this thank you came like 2 years late, but still, thank you God for weiwen. and thank you weiwen for fulfilling your purpose in my life even though i know it's not intentional (:
Sunday, November 28, 2010
♥ 12:40 AM
I won't talk
I won't breathe
I won't move till you finally see
that you belong with me
you might think
I don't look
but deep inside in the corner of my mind
I'm attatched to you
mmmm
I'm weak
it's true
cause I'm afraid to know the answer
do you want me too?
cause my heart keeps falling faster
[chorus]
I've waited all my life to cross this line
to the only thing thats true
so I will not hide
i'ts time to try anything to be with you
all my life I've waited
this is true
you don't know
what you do
everytime you walk into the room
I'm afraid to move
I'm weak
it's true
I'm just scared to know the ending
do you see me too?
do you even know you met me
[Chorus]
I've waited all my life to cross this line
to the only thing thats true
so I will not hide
its time to try anything to be with you
all my life I've waited
this is true
I know when I go
I'll be on my way to you
the way that's true
[chorus]
I've waited all my life to cross this line
to the only thing thats true
so I will not hide
its time to try anything to be with you
all my life I've waited
this is true
I used to like this song a lot last time. I've been reminded these 2 weeks that songs really expresses someone. Sometimes i really feel that at times when we ourselves have no idea what we want or how we're feeling, the songs we choose to listen to speaks best (: studying these 2 weeks has made me rather melancholic? i have no idea why seriously. HAHA! i just saw something very funny. from wikipedia "In a modern context, "melancholy" applies only to the mental or emotional symptoms of depression or despondency" LOL! no wonder im feeling this way. study indeed can bring about depression. haha. im just kidding. i dont mean it that way. hmm, i think it's better expressed as melancholic + nostalgic = kind of what im getting at. anyway, yesterday's cell was about being true. maybe this song kinds of expresses me? HAHA. i know i dont usually write about this kind of stuff on my blog. But then again, isn't it better that im writing it here? it's called " journey to being real ". HAHA. life's not all about revelations anyway (:
Sunday, November 21, 2010
♥ 6:14 PM
something made me kind of guilty today. it is so true when pastor said that one dollar seems so "BIG" in church and so "small" in a mall. is it our self-righteousness acting up? that makes us feel like " oh my goodness, i'm giving God so much " when we give let's say $50. i mean it's really a lot! i mean, for my age at least, how often does that amount come out of my pocket as offering? maybe once or twice a year? but how often does that amount come out of my pocket in a mall? i gotta say almost more than once every week. how can we feel casual about spending $50 on a meal but have so much difficulty giving it to God? plus time and time again when we freely give to God, we've experienced His multiplication miracle happening to us. and yet every time when He calls us to freely give, we struggle. so weird eh? didn't the Bible ask us to store up treasures in heaven where it cant be destroyed? but then again, end of the day, what i'm trying to put across here is not the money, but the attitude. i mean, He loves us so much that He gave His son. and yet we struggle so much when we're called to give Him some time to serve, to pray, to just spend time with Him. i'm not trying to make whoever's reading this feel guilty too. HAHA. i mean, it's my blog. i'm just writing my reflections (: perhaps, i'm the one who's gonna need to read this in the future?
Saturday, October 30, 2010
♥ 11:17 PM
okay. there's this other post that i wanna put up cox i feel that God is speaking very strongly in this area to me these few weeks. complacency.
Sometimes along our christian walk, things will just seem like a routine. we attend cell groups on friday, service on sunday. and by doing these, we "fulfill" our christian duties for the week. in a sense, we're not backsliding. but yet i wont consider that to be on fire for God. here comes the terrible thing.. we actually feel spiritually satisfied by this.
Revelation 3:16 (New International Version)
So, because you are lukewarm—neither hot nor cold—I am about to spit you out of my mouth.
i heard a sermon a few weeks ago which really touched my heart. and in it, the preacher says "the curse of our generation is that we're very shallow in our convictions" we are deceived by the devil into thinking that it's perfectly okay to live our christian lives this way. the devil knows very well that especially for people who have been christians for quite awhile that he cant do much about making us not believe in God for we have already experienced Him. So in turn, the devil deceives us into believing in a mediocre christian life; just by going for cell group, church service, serve in a ministry, that just by doing these christian acts, that it is ENOUGH. BUT IT'S NOT! so often we tend to take our relationship with God for granted. We appear okay before others. standing strong, that even if we dont attend one church service or one cell group meeting, skip a few quiet times, we're not gonna be shaken, we're not gonna lose our faith. Just like a tree which appears to be big and strong but the fact is that our roots are shallow. We pray with powerful vocab, with a loud voice, but without substance. we counsel with the standard verses, say the standard things that has been drilled into us without really hearing from the Holy Spirit. i mean, what glory is there? it may appear to be okay. it really will appear to be alright before others. but seriously? is this the christianity we want?
We need to guard our relationship with God with every ounce we have in us. it is so easy for us to slip back into complacency if we dont guard our hearts and minds well. we need to constantly remind ourselves why in the first place did we love Him, what are the areas that He's come true for us, what are the breakthroughs that He's blessed us with. constantly have a thankful heart, a humble heart. we cant afford to live this one life we have in complacency. There are so many things that He has planned for us
1 Corinthians 2:9 (New International Version)
However, as it is written:
"No eye has seen,
no ear has heard,
no mind has conceived
what God has prepared for those who love him"
There are so many things that He wants to accomplish through us. let's not be satisfied with a dose of christianity. let's not settle for prayers without substance. let's not say things we dont hear the Spirit say or do things that doesn't glorify God. We need to have our convictions imprinted deep into our being. conviction of keeping the sabbath, commitment to cell group, to prayer, to worship, to fasting, ect.
1 Timothy 4:12 (New International Version)
... set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity.
♥ 11:16 PM
I read this in a friend's blog and was tremendously blessed by it and i hope it blesses you too (:
I’ve always wondered why God created man. Why a totally self-sufficient God would create these minute, seemingly insignificant little creatures and place them on planet Earth, allow them to mess up His creation in every possible way, and then send His one and only Son to die for us so we can have a relationship with Him.
Why in the universe would God do that? Why would God create man?
Somehow the seemingly vague answer that He did it out of love never really satisfied me. I mean, that just doesn’t make much sense… Creating something out of love? Who does that?
We do.
Why do people choose to have children? In a marriage where not having children doesn’t mean the marriage is any less complete?
Because of love. Love for each other, and love for the child that hasn’t even arrived. Because people want to love. They want to love their child, whom they’ve brought into the world. Because they have love to give, and even if it means 9 months of morning sickness for the mother and 9 months of suffering unending PMS for the father, they’d willingly go through all that to bring a child into a world full of chaos.
If people really love their children-to-be, why would they want to bring them into a fallen world, filled with pain and suffering, knowing that their children would definitely face hurt in their lifetimes? Because they know that the love they show their children will help bring them through those dark moments in life. And also because part of them wants to leave their mark in the world, and the best way would be to love their children and touch their lives, so that they, in turn, can love their children.
All parents want their children to reflect their goodness. All parents want their children to grow up to be great people. And when that happens, others who look upon their children will say to them, “You guys are great parents. You brought up your children well.”
Isn’t that so much like God? Sometimes I wonder why God would create man. Allow us to mess up His perfect creation, and then continue allowing us to live in it. Sometimes it almost seems cruel to allow us to live in a world filled with pain and suffering, which really is a world we brought upon ourselves, no matter how much people choose to blame God or deny His love or deny His existence.
And as we wallow in our self-pity and self-righteously declare how unjust and unloving God is to allow suffering, we epic-ly fail to acknowledge our part to play in all of that. I do mean all of that. As we focus on our self-centeredness, our problems, our needs, our situations, our circumstances, we completely forget that God’s love is enough to see us through. Every single thing.
And no, that doesn’t mean that our problems mysteriously, or divinely, disappear. Nor does it even mean our problems are any smaller when we receive God’s love (which is there for us 24/7). It just means that we know that God is in control, that God is infinitely bigger and more powerful than any problem we can possibly face, and that He understands how we feel and yet loves us unconditionally.
Amazing.
And then I wonder how in the world we, as insignificant, sinful, self-centered, foolish human beings can ever, ever possibly come close to reflecting God’s love and glory. Which really is His purpose for creating us in the first place – to reflect His glory.
I guess it’s a choice, isn’t it? We can either continue living the way we are – sinful, self-centered, foolish, and every possible negative adjective, or we can make the seemingly painful, sacrificial, and heart-wrenching, but ultimately totally fulfilling, satisfying, and peace-bringing decision to live for God, fulfil His purpose, and reflect His glory.
And no, we can’t do it on our own. We can make that decision, and we have to be the ones to make the decision and go all out for it, but it is God who works in us and through us, when we allow Him to, to reflect His glory.
Maybe you disagree with me, but… that realization (which has ended up much longer than it was initially) has helped me understand a little bit more of why God would ever create us.
Thursday, October 21, 2010
♥ 12:15 AM
All things happen for a reason.
I believe that God allows us to go through different trials and temptations to empower us to help others. i believe that the greatest trial in our lives will be our greatest testimony when we overcome it. However, i think that a very normal response for most people is to run away from it? at least i felt that way all this while. for example, if you were an addict of gambling, and by the grace of God you've overcome it. and now all of a sudden you find your life filled with gamblers. what would you do? i doubt many people will actually respond by saying," Praise for Lord for throwing me right back where you saved me from! " LOL! i think most people will think of it this way," Lord, why?" HAHAHA! that's exactly how i feel. but nonetheless, i believe that this time it's different. that i'm empowered with greater grace to not only help myself, but also others.
Father, i pray that You'll help me guard my heart above all else. Let Your grace be more than sufficient.
Sunday, October 17, 2010
♥ 2:33 PM
God's really amazing.
it's simply so amazing for the creator of e universe to be so deeply interested in our very individual lives, right to the very precise details. How can this be? there can be no other way to explain this except for His grace and mercy. well, i've been thinking a lot recently. and just like what pastor shared, i do believe that in this crisis, it's not just pastor alone whom God is testing. im not sure about others, but one thing i know, it's that He's testing me too. God, being God, can simply remove all the evil in e world, or at least just stop it from happening. the trials, tribulations, temptations, He can get rid of them all this very instant. But why doesn't He? I believe it's cox He respects us, He loves us, He longs to have a relationship with us.
If he took all e pain and suffering away, wouldn't we be so complacent? we wouldn't know how to treasure the blessings we've been given. but then again, you may argue " why not He just creates us to behave like Jesus, to think like Jesus. Then we'd be all made perfect and have a super sense of righteousness, super sense of gratitude, and all that good stuff" If that happens, then we'd all be photocopies of one another. we'd lose our personality, we'd lose our free will. the fact that we are who we are is because of what we've gone through. the ONLY way to grow is by breaking through trials. They shape us into who we are. and hopefully, who God wants us to be. most of the time when im in a trial, I'd ask Him ," why this again? I thought i passed this test the previous time?" But slowly i realised, it's not just about passing one type of test once, it's to pass it again and again and again. cox what He's looking for is not a one time conviction, it's not a one time commitment, it's not a one time obedience. but again and again He'll test until you're hard-pressed on every side, till you are so tired of fighting, and just surrender everything to Him. anw, i have no idea how did i end up writing about this when this is not what i wanted to talk about. haha
i wanted to talk about God. How speechless I am toward Him as i know Him more and more. I mean His goodness is beyond what words can describe, beyond what any human being can possibly or will possibly do. How can THE magnificent God be interested in every single detail of our lives? who are we to deserve this? i dont even think i've planned every single detail of lucky's life, or will even plan for my child's life in that manner in the future. besides creating us, besides sending His son to save us, once we allow Him to come into our lives, He plans our education, plans for our career, plans for the friends He wants us to have, plans for the spouse He's prepared for us, plans for every single human being who will come into our lives, plans for every single step that we take. Who in this world would actually do these things for you without robbing you of your will? who can love to such an extent? How can i possibly not love Him? I can only say for myself that the grace He's poured out upon my life far exceeds what i can possibly contain or even comprehend. it's simply not justified. i dont think that i've done anything worthy of such grace. in fact, i think im a very terrible person who's always finding an excuse to run to all the wrong stuff. and yet He still faithfully loves me, waits for me, calls me, and cant wait to forgive me.
Father i pray that you who began a good work in me will bring this work to completion. mould me, shape me, into who you want me to be. I dont wanna be anywhere apart from your will. So come and take control of my life.
I don't know how to say exactly how I feel
And I can't begin to tell you what your love has meant
I'm lost for words
Is there a way to show the passion in my heart
Can I express how truly great I think you are
You're my dearest friend
Lord this is my desire to pour my love on you
Like oil upon your feet
Like wine for you to drink
Life water from my heart
I pour my love on you
With praises like the perfume
I lavish mine on you
Till every drop is gone
I pour my love on you
Is there a way to show the passion in my heart
Can I express how truly great I think you are,
My dearest friend
Lord this is my desire to pour my love on you
Monday, September 06, 2010
♥ 8:27 PM
Sometimes i feel that without having any relationships life would be so much more less stressful. Maybe i should come up with a philosophical theory to support the belief in loner-ism. LOL! Just kidding (:
Or maybe i should just support the ridiculous belief that only myself and I alone am conscious but everybody else is not. but if that's true then it's what everybody else thinks so we're all deceiving ourselves? LOL!
I'm study crazy and i need other stuff to occupy my mind that will provide me with some form of alternative relieve. preferably sth out of e norm. but at the same time super interesting and worth my time but does not take up too much of my memory. It'd be good if it's stress-free too. sth like blogging. LOL.
as you can tell, if you've read to this paragraph that i mean what i say when i say that my mind is not here. congratulations. bye bye(:
Friday, September 03, 2010
♥ 12:14 PM
reason for my insomnia, to chiong this stupid thing -.-"
Title: Summary of Thomas Nagel’s article “what is it like to be a bat?”
Thomas Nagel argues against having a physical theory of mind by saying that experiences are not only objective but more importantly, subjective. Therefore without knowing the subjective character of experiences, we cannot know what is required of physicalism, having merely an objective account is insufficient to explain consciousness. He illustrates the differences in subjectivity and objectivity by asking what is it like to be a bat. Since bats perceive things by echolocation, we can never subjectively experience “being” a bat, since we lack this sense. We could know the science behind echolocation, and try to imagine it implemented on ourselves but our imagination is limited to how we can behave like a bat, compared to what is it like for a bat to be a bat, hence unable to share experiences as they are strictly subjective to the bat alone. His argument then is that we can study the science behind physical phenomena objectively, however that alone is insufficient to explain consciousness as it also involves subjectivity unique to the individual. It is therefore impossible to contemplate any physical theory of mind with the lingering problem of subjectivity and objectivity in the generation of consciousness.
Thursday, September 02, 2010
♥ 6:30 PM
Sometimes it's just so sad when we look back on the things we've done, or certain things or people we use to have but today it's no where near where we intended for it to be. dont worry, im not depressed or whatever. haha. it's just a sudden urge to think back and i realised what a waste many things are. like so many things we dont cherish, or we didn't spend our time wisely, and in the end we lose it. and now when we realise, it's kind of beyond redemption. HAHA. I'm just thankful to Him for making me who i am today, for giving me what i possess right now, for placing so many wonderful angels in my life to watch over me. I like the feeling of playing badminton like competitively. Cox when i play, i go in as light as i can be. as in no watches, no bracelets or anklets, basically all i have is God and my racquet. when im in the court i feel so close to God(:
anw, just a SUPER brief summary of what I've learnt in philosophy or rather what i've learnt plus what God says. HAHA. Firstly, free will, determinism, I dont really think they matter. As in, in a way it's blibical to say that determinism is true because God knows EVERY decision we will make in our lives and everything happens for a reason. However, that doesn't really mean that we dont have free will, but we have a constricted free will. sounds oxymoron? HAHA. But yet we have to foot the bill for being morally responsible cox God has done His part and we cant just shift all e blame onto Him. Secondly, can computers think? yes they can. We are computers ourselves. i mean, at least our brain is. HAHA. God is the most brilliant computer programmer of all times. and no one can surpass His programming skills, hence we are all tricked into thinking that we are more superior as compared to computers in terms of thinking. well, for a fact, God programmed us to think in a certain way when certain things happen. for example, when people hit us we get angry, we may have a few choices, but the immediate ones which come up will definitely not fall under anything close to rejoicing. HAHA. isn't that similar to a computer? we key in sth or ask a question and it responds according its program. the only difference in terms of thinking is that we are programmed by e almighty God whereas computers are programmed by us using less than 10% of our brains. Therefore i conclude that we are super computers. HAHA. anw, i realised that a lot of philosophical debates, or rather all of them cant be explained unless God is introduced into the picture. cox our world is in fact 4 dimensional including the spiritual realm. how can we foolish humans ever hope to explain the occurrences of a 4 dimensional world by merely using 3 dimensional facts? we're missing out a whole big part! it's like the story of the 3 blind man who tries to explain an elephant by touching it. anw, time to go do my next reading! Happy schooling people(:
Wednesday, September 01, 2010
♥ 9:28 PM
WOW! look at what a beautiful picture I've taken for lucky. HAHA. can use for his matchmaking(:
Anw, there are so many things i wish i had e time to say here but I've just been terribly tied down by school work and all that stupid traveling. philosophy is so fun and i just wish i could write my thoughts about e discussions here. about free will, about thinking. but now i've got 2 lab reports to complete by tonight so i shall skip it. anw, here's a really beautiful song.
In Christ alone will I glory
Though I could pride myself in battles won
For I've been blessed beyond measure
And by His strength alone I overcome
Oh I could stop and count successes
Like diamonds in my hands
But those trophies could not equal
To the grace by which I stand
Chorus:
In Christ alone I place my trust
And find my glory in the power of the cross
In every victory let it be said of me
My source of strength, my source of hope is Christ alone
In Christ alone will I glory
For only by His grace I am redeemed
And only His tender mercy
Could reach beyond my weakness to my need
And now I seek no greater honor
Than just to know Him more
And to count my gains
But losses to the glory of my Lord
I'm just so tremendously blessed by this song. I feel that it speaks so much of how my life with God has been. I'm just so thankful to Him for giving me a new life and living it out with me. in every weakness, He never fails to bring me strength, in every defeat, He always comes true with victory. And when i look back at my life, im sure that i'm not the only one who can tell that these successes are not by my strength nor my might, but by the power of His spirit(:
Monday, August 30, 2010
♥ 12:24 AM
Spending too much money this week. I think im gonna faint. anw, i bought a nikon D5000 yesterday and a pair of limited edition Yonex badminton shoes today. oh gosh~ im so bad. anw, here's my new baby. picture taken with my new baby(: im very happy with it(:
Saturday, August 21, 2010
♥ 9:17 PM
transition periods. I kind of like the feeling of it. well, it's definitely stepping out of my comfort zone. However, it also helps me to break free from my boring "routine" lifestyle(: I'm still not used to uni, especially the "loner" break times and retarded school hours. But these few weeks have indeed been very enriching and exciting for my life(:
First is philosophy. i really enjoy this module(: it's too interesting. simply love the debate behind the theories and just being exposed to different views and ideas, thinking out of e box, but then again, we're in a box in e first place. HAHA. shall not get into details. maybe i'll decide to post some philosophical stuff here some day.
next, I LOVE YOG! If you think that yog is just an insignificant event, or whatever related thoughts, it's either because you're biased against sports or that you've not watched it live. It's simply amazing! e atmosphere simply awes you e moment you step into e competition venue. and when you scream and cheer for e athletes, it just lifts all e emotions to an even higher level. well, to me e feeling is just indescribable. What an honor it is to be able to be part of this(: well, many may think," what benefits has watching sports gotta offer me?" for a fact, I've learnt so much just by watching the semis and finals of badminton. the spirit of fighting on when you're losing. it's not even hanging on, it's literally fighting on. The spirit when different people from different countries cheer for different teams , and yet be in harmony with one another, it's definitely a sight to behold(: the humility of the players.. ect. It's so amazing! i wish every day was YOG. HAHA! Anw, I decided to play badminton again(: e games have reignited my passion for this sport which i've neglected for so long and i feel so bad for my racquets): Hopefully i can make it into e team and no determinism or whatever will stand in my way(:
anw, below is the blog of my sec sch friend. it's really blessed me beyond what words can describe. and i'm sure it'll bless you too(:
http://www.mlia-frica.blogspot.com/
Saturday, July 24, 2010
♥ 7:32 PM
Just here to share something which i really enjoyed about cell group yesterday(:
Yesterday's Word talked about knowing our identity in Christ. how do we know that God is real? how do we know that God loves us? for the children of Israel, it's when God performs a miracle such as the parting of e red sea ect. and for many of us, that's the kind of God we're looking out for too. a miracle-performing God. However, just as e story goes, the children of Israel were always murmuring and complaining about God, and the whole generation ended up perishing in the wilderness. Miracle based faith is temporary. Miracle based love is temporary.
How then do we know God is real? How then are we convinced that He loves us?
It is understanding the character of God behind these miracles, knowing His intentions for us when He performed these miracles, that will cause faith and love to take root in our lives. So that one day when the blessings stop coming, we will still trust the heart of the Blesser.
well, this can be applied to any relationship too (:
Wednesday, June 02, 2010
♥ 11:28 PM
i saw this on yahoo and it got me thinking "So, tell us, just how much money is needed to run a charity or a religious organisation? Is it right that they be run and financed like a private corporation? Or is the concept of a simply-run, no-frills church an out-dated model in this day and age?"
well, when i read this question, e first thought that came into my mind was ," this is just like the question of how much money is needed to keep a person alive? Is it right that a person is very prosperous? is the concept of living a mediocre life an out-dated model in this day and age?" come on, we all know the answer to these questions. The Bible says that the Church is the Body of Christ!
Matthew 16:18
... I will build My church, and the gates of Hades shall not prevail against it.
Saturday, May 22, 2010
♥ 3:44 PM
oh my GOODness! God is so.... AWESOME WONDERFUL MAGNIFICENT LOVING TIMELY GLORIOUS! whoo~
my goodness, i dont know where to begin. haha. He is never late, He's never early, He's just on time! and His timing, what can i say bout it?. IT'S PERFECT! He hears our prayers, He always listens. He allows night seasons to come so that people will see HIS work in our lives instead of our mere carnal strength. He puts us in "impossible" situations so that people will know that He makes all things possible. He fights for us when we're weak, He lifts us up when we're down, He gives us rest when we're tired, He speaks the stillness into our storms, and gives peace to our ever wavering hearts. What more can we ask for? He's more than enough (:(: Praise the Lord (:(:
Psalms 35:28
I'll tell the world how great and good you are, I'll shout Hallelujah all day, every day.
Saturday, April 10, 2010
♥ 12:06 PM
okay. this week has been crazy and i don't like it a bit except for the fact that i suddenly realise that princess Fiona is really pretty. I'm finally off work today and i feel like canceling tuition. i think i got sunburnt but luckily im not peeling (: i think i have very good working places this week so I'd like to thank God for it (: and I'd also like to thank Him for making my boss crave for ice cream too so i could also get one for myself every day (: I feel like sleeping now and i pray it rains really heavily tomorrow so i can rest at work (:
Sunday, March 28, 2010
♥ 9:36 PM
I think songs are very important and powerful. Cox the songs we listen to are actually us acknowledging with the feeling/ phase in life that the singer is trying to show. and of cox, the place of agreement is the place of power. positive songs bring positive power, and negative songs bring negative power. songs are also actually words that the lyricist wants to say to someone, but it's sung instead of spoken. ever had the feeling of hearing a familiar song and all of a sudden a certain emotion or memory comes into you? I'm a person who often associates songs to incidents/ people/ events in my life. Some songs bring bad memories, bondage, hurts, regret. But i thank God that most of it now brings happiness, life, joy, hope, love, healing, peace, rest...
well, maybe that's why i'm a worship addict. haha. there's this place of rest when one is lost in worship. and every time when i'm there, i always wanna bring someone along. actually i dont really know to describe this. You know it's like when you're filled with emotions/ memories when you're lost in a song, and how you wish somebody or that someone will understand? it's kind of the same except that there's this drawing power to this indescribable love in worship and one can like stay in there for hours and hours. and just like any song, anyone who's been there will wish that somebody will experience the same feeling they're experiencing.
i think songs are created by God for us to express our emotions. like when one is in love, they listen to love songs. and when one is sad, they listen to sad songs. and when they listen to it or sing along with it, somehow the people around them can also feel their emotions. I guess worship too is like that. that's why i never believed in emotionless worship. lifting up hands, singing out loud, kneeling, clapping they're not mere actions but they are the key into that secret room where we can find rest and peace and joy and so much more. I thank God that i fell in love with worship. cox my christian life, my entire life, would be meaningless without it. just singing. listening.waiting.
Psalms 27:13-14
13 I am still confident of this:
I will see the goodness of the LORD
in the land of the living.
14 Wait for the LORD;
be strong and take heart
and wait for the LORD.
Tuesday, March 09, 2010
♥ 10:01 PM
Sometimes i just feel so sad for people who try to run away but can't. I feel for people who try so hard and yet fail. And i guess im just sad for my friends who screw their lives cox of shit and yet there's nth i can do. I also wanna run away. I wanna run right back to bangkok and live at the beach forever. I dont care if tsunami comes cox im gonna run up to the mountain to take a picture so i can sell it for money after it's over. And im gonna use the money to buy tomatoes for the hungry and fierce monkeys on the mountain. I'm tired and hungry. Goodbye
Monday, March 01, 2010
♥ 3:59 PM
Okay, I've got no work at all this week. which is kinda bad cox I'd have almost no work too next week and i really dont wanna cut into Sundays as much as possible.
Anyway, apart from that, life's getting better. i can sense it , for now. HAHA! at least up till friday comes. Poh Ee and Sheryl got me watching this stupid show that's really bad but funny at times, especially when one of them looks like sheryl. HAHAHA! Been spending my day reading blogs and i gotta admit, relationships are complicated and they mess people up. Sometimes i wonder why do God create us humans to be so full of emotions that tempt us and "force" us to do things that we know, if our minds are clear, that is wrong. But then there's this line from the show that i REALLY liked. It says," Everybody has feelings, but it doesn't mean you have to act on them." well, i guess this principle can be used in all aspects of life, be it relationships, or anger management, or whatever emotions we might be feeling. There's this other show called "Fireproof". It has a line that says," dont just follow your heart, cox your heart may be deceived."
