so many thoughts and feelings are running through my mind now. dere are so many things i wanna say, so many thoughts and feelings inside dat i wanna let out. it's as though im screaming on the inside. as the final countdown begins, my heart cant help but beat faster. i realli cant believe it, all these 4 years, i nvr tot that this day would realli come so quickly. i'm so looking forward to the outcome. how i wish i can speed up time. or maybe not. it's jux a bunch of mixed feelings inside me. i can onli be myself in front of my Abba Father now. He knows best wad's going on. although dere are ppl who knows bout it, i can nvr realli be myself and tell dem all im experiencing inside. maybe they are insensitive to my needs, maybe they are busy? i realli duno. but it's jux not the same.
how i long for somebody to speak to. Father, keep me strong in You through this final lap. i want to be a good finisher for Christ.


just read xiangcen's blog and she mentioned dat a smile can realli make a difference. reading her blog just makes my day. never fails to make me smile. cox the things dat she blog about are jux so funni and interesting. esp all e food. muahaha! anyway, dat statement bout a smile making a difference, it reminds me of my da zhu. who sky fall down oso can smile. makes me feel much better. if she can be strong despite all dat she went thru, i can do it too! The Joy Of The Lord Shall Be My Strength! gonna go pray and head to bed, good nitez ppl!

oh gosh! my sms is gonna burst for the first time. now it's already 700+ for this month onli. freaky! haha! nvm, think from next month onwards should be much much much better. hee hee. i hope.

today's service was totally awesome! much much better than yest's. the anointing of God was jux overwhelming. and guess wad? im standing outside. ahhhh!!! i was so upset at the end of the service. dun believe can ask mark. cox i was complaining all the way while arranging back the chairs. and mark had 2 keep telling me that jiang ling ate her toothpaste to stop me from complaining. haha!

yup, i saw you yest. twice actually. first time u din see me cox i ran away. when u saw me it's quite hard for me not to notice you actually, cox your whole zone was practically empty. and er... all i wanna say is dat dun lose hope in me. i know some things u might not understand and are sad and disappointed bout the things dat are happening. but i hope that when you're confused and lost, you will turn to God for His strength and direction. this is all gonna be over. trust me, it's not your fault. i'll explain things to you very soon. thank you for not confronting me yest. please continue to keep me in prayer. i badly need it through this period. you'll hear from me soon.

just came back from deliverance service. it was great! went down for the first session of worship and hung ard the stage area 2 pray for ppl. presence of God was soo soo soo tangible. realli an awesome experience. actually i realli wanted 2 be those who lay hands and pray for e ppl. but too bad this time i nid 2 go down for deliverance. so cant pray. boo hoo.. nvm, will have chance 1. anyway, i went for prayer but din manifest, which was quite unexpected. cox i realli tot dat dere was sth in me. but it's oso gd la hor, at least now confirm is clean Christian! yay! hee hee..

today has been a realli tiring day too. cox cg we had amazing race in e morning at ecp. i was one of the organisers following the team. and my team was made up all 4 guys! so can u imagine a small gal carrying bags of things chasing 4 guys? hahaha! okie, and dat's not the worst part. it rained heavily!! but u noe as guys they heck care and still wanna continue. so we ran in e rain. yupx, i was all drenched, inside, outside. and i wore slippers and ran in slippers. hahhaha! but overall it was fun and my grp came in first. think it's cox mine was e onli all boys grp. and my grp continued despite e rain but the other 2 grps took shelter and rested for awhile.

okie, dat's all i wanna say, im v v v tired now. gonna head to bed den service again tml!

had a terrible day yest. got lost in queenstown. was suppose 2 go alexander hospital with christina for her check up. but den lesson ended late so i had 2 go dere myself. asked e lady at queenstown mrt control station how 2 get dere. she told me dere is a shuttle bus but e next bus is 20 mins away. so i decided 2 take bus. she asked me to take bus no 175 at the left side. so i went down and boarded the bus. total crap! e bus doesn't even go dere!! it went 2 some ulu place. so i got down e bus and went e opp direction to take e same bus back to e mrt station. guess wad!? the bus went a different direction and this time it's even more ulu. realli freaked me out, almost cried cox it's realli veri dark and scary. first time i lose my way all alone. stopped me at some pasir panjang duno wad shit place where it's a construction site. veri little ppl, no cab. anyway, i waited for a cab like soo soo long and finally one came bus it went pass me. next one came and the bus blocked me. finally the third 1 came and i dashed out onto the road to stop it. luckily it din run me over. but i had no money on me so christina had to come down to pass me money. haix.. wad are the chances of such bad luck? think e devil attack is coming again. haix..

today was a realli tiring day. tml's gonna be one too. anyway, my meeting wif the taecher regarding my prayer grp thingy was not say veri gd la. first i feel dat the teacher is totally not open. she's judgmental towards everything i say. which made me veri veri veri uncomfortable talking 2 her. she ask me why i wanna have this prayer grp. so i said i feel dat we nid to have greater fervency in The Lord. so she asked me why nid greater fervency and so on. and i oso duno why it ended up being i'm the idiot who discriminate against catholics. freak sia! realli pissed me off. maybe it's realli sth i said wrongly but it was definately not my intention at all to evangelize to e catholics. anyway i am quite upset bout this. so in order not to let her talk her way thru, i decided not to talk on e sensitive topics. instead i said it's also to pray for the sch. so she asked in wad areas. i said for good health, for protection, for blessings, even for exams. in my opinion, the following question she asked me was one of the dumbest questions i've ever heard in my entire life. she asked... why do u nid 2 pray for health? is dere a problem? woahx! pengz! i gave her those kind of " huh!?" looks. wad e!? nid to be somebody kena cancer or on the verge of dying or Holy Spirit give me a revelation dat a big big plague will come upon our sch den can pray for health ah? wad a stupid question can?? i know she's jux trying 2 be careful. the first 1 i understand cox it's a catholic sch. but the health 1..... realli left me speechless. she gave me those kind of feeling dat she's out to question me until i say sth politically wrong den she'll seize the chance and stab me at the back. wad e!?! i dun believe this. anyway, im pretty upset about this whole darn thing. but she said she'll pray about it and give me a reply. if my prayer meetings she'll be ard den i think i'll jux have a cancel the whole idea. i feel dat it's realli no point trying to talk things out and stress myself up wif ppl who are not open. b4 i could even finish talking, her judgment comes in. and wad i've said to her dat the catholics are not fervent enuff it's not baseless. i have 2 invite my catholic frens to mass and accompany dem dere den they will go. hey, isn't dere a problem?? haix.. i jux hope this will turn out well.

ahhh! im still unwell. freak! feeling worse now. have this feverish feeling as though my temperate is rising by e day. but cox weather v cold nowadays so im cold on e outside. awhile cold, awhile hot. ahh! save me! i dun like this feeling! oso cox of this i've been feeling v v v tired. like i've been slping in class this whole week and my regular 2 hr afternoon naps have become 4 hrs. realli v v tired.

tml gonna meet ms shiow regarding my prayer grp request. my fren said she sounded as though we were terrorists when he told her bout e prayer grp. haix... is praying realli such a terrible thing? sometimes i realli dun understand. isn't setting up a prayer grp supposed 2 be a gd thing and should be encouraged? esp when it's in a catholic sch, e teachers im seeking approval of are catholics, shouldn't they help me instead? why are they the problems? so sian... pray for wisdom as i speak tml ba. hope the teacher will have an open mind 2 accept. better still, help us!

im oso intending to take a break from cg ministry and usher from august onwards. this month has been realli realli tiring for me. been doing much more for cg and usher and an additional worry now, badminton. haix.. at the end of the day, badminton team is still my baby, how can say dun care den dun care? haix.. jux dun give me ANY additional stress and i think i'll be okie.

just like i predicted, badminton din go well at all. no court officials were around and 15 mins after e competition is supposed 2 start, one of the officials realised dere was no shuttles. so he ran back 2 sch and still dere was no shuttles. so guess wad? i called my mom up and asked her to bring my last 3 tubes of shuttles down 2 e cc 2 pass 2 dem. ahhhh!! u know 1 of the tubes is a new tube of yonex shuttles! i cant even bring myself 2 use it and yet i gave it 2 dem! freak! feeling so heart pain now.. sobx.. nvm, i've done everything i could. so from now on im jux gonna stay out of their business. live or die is their problem! bubu shall not care anymore! i gave dem my own shuttles, stayed up late 2 do score sheets 4 dem, even printed 20 copies of score sheets out of my own money cox apparently e badminton teacher was not in e staff room 2 print 4 me. ahhhh!!

so i jux came back from minds cafe wif some usher frens. had fun dere despite e long long long..... wait for the birthday gal 2 arrive. i like fell aslp on e sofa after like 2 hours of wait. but we din play any board games due 2 the lateness. but we fellowship, and we all had a good luff. esp when melvin dropped the whole cup of pepper into his soup while playing my psp. i oso finished composing e tune 2 a poem for ann's student. so now dere's this sense of accomplishment in me! yeah! haha! gonna quickly finish up my fried rice and head 2 bed. sweet dreams ppl! 2 weeks and 3 days to go!

ahh! im stressed stressed stressed! tml's Hai sing badminton open and by right im not even suppose 2 help out. but it seems like tml's event is gonna be a mess. they don't even have a proper plan out. team capt wun be dere, teacher in charge wun be dere. and all 6 categories of ppl will be dere! oh no! how how?? cher ask me 2 go down 2 help out. but wad can i do? it's sooo last min. leave dem dere to die? or go dere and die wif dem? i think they think im superman. ahhhh!!! think tonite i no nid slp le. try 2 find a way to schedule all e matches tml... God, save me!!

i'm sick today. din go sch. down with sorethroat and feeling kinda feverish too. head's been feeling heavy and tight since last nite. haix.. i dun like this kind of feeling. was feeling unwell since yest already. but still went sch cox of o level listening. felt better in e afternoon so went watch harry potter 5. straight after e movie...Bam!.. the feverish feeling hit me again. sianz..

i've been eating watermelon this whole day. hope it helps to bring down the "fire". even my mom says my room has dat smoke smell. wonder why... can a person release so much heat dat smoke can be given out? hahaha! nvm, dat's juz a weird ques. ignore it, im jux bored.

This is the day The Lord has made, i will be glad and rejoice in it! Hallelujah!

today's has been a great day! wad a wonderful feeling it is to start your day right! finally no more nightmares nor temptations last nite! it's like FINALLY can catch some good sleep! and i slpt for like 7 hours. shiok! planned 2 slp 8 hours though, thanks to da zhu who woke me up at 7. but i'm just really happy and refreshed after last nite's slp. feel's great! i think im on my way 2 victory. when things get from bad to worse, expect the resurrection power of God!

anyway, tml's my o level chinese listening comprehension exam. pls pray for me!!! hee! gonna head to bed now. it's been a long long day and tml's gonna be a busy day too. sweet dreams ppl!

Bubu, u gotta hold on. dun give up, u're almost dere. tough times may come, ppl maybe disappoint you, ppl may hurt u. BUT GOD will make all things work out. Just trust in Him, Just trust in Him. rely on His strength. not by strength nor by might, but by His spirit. Rest under His wings when u feel tired for He is ur refuge, He will give you rest, He will refresh ur spirit. Bubu... jia you..

been feeling dat the devil is realli against me nowadays. everything i do oso wanna tempt me 2 take e wrong step. pray oso keep making me doubt God. places i go, songs dat i listen to, even words dat ppl speak. everywhere i go, everything i do, it's as if he wants me dead. either that or he's trying to drive me crazy. the more i pray, the stronger the resistance he puts up. when i have so little time 2 rest and just when i fall aslp on my soft, comfy bed, i can see his footsteps all over my dreams, or should i say nightmares? it's never ending.

Father God, i need Your strength to resist the devil and to stand firm on Your promises. Upon the solid rock ,Jesus Christ, i build my life, my faith, and my salvation. cause me to be able to win this war against the devil for He who is in me is greater than he who is in the world. strengthen my faith in You Lord, that at the end surely i will stand victorious before Your throne. so Father, i place my life on Your alter. use me mightily to accomplish great things for You. in Jesus's mighty name i pray, Amen and Amen!

Matt 5:29-30

well i guess i haven't been blogging recently. been kinda busying with school and church. more tests, mock exams, evening classes, sat classes. church wise, i've been busy serving and preoccupied with cg stuff. so the rest of e time i have it's all been used 4 slp. hee hee! wad to do, im 3s4's xiao zhu ma. and xiao zhu loves to sleep. hee hee!

okie, so here i am wif my fav green apple green tea updating a little. jux came back from movie wif classmate. catched nancy drew. nice show! although it was kinda scary and i tot my heart was gonna stop beating. really thank ann for giving me the free tickets. hee! reached home and finally had my meal of e day. spaghetti and green apple green tea! yummy! had a reali tiring day today. non stop action all e day. was falling aslp in class like 2 times.

gonna go for my mjc badminton trail tml. hope i can get excused from lessons cox the trial starts at 2. realli dun wanna miss the trail again. i missed the tjc trail due to studies oso. and im kinda disappointed and saddened by it. realli regretted not going 4 e trail. so this time die die im gonna make it! even if i dun get in, at least i know i've tried.

am still thinking if i should go arrange chairs this thurs. feeling kinda tired and restless wif all these extra lessons. and thurs is my onli day for a break. but since im free, wadeva i say will jux be excuses instead of reasons right? haix. sometimes i realli wonder why do i always think of this reasons and excuses stuff. life would be so free if i dun think of it and jux give excuses from time 2 time. wad to do? it's stuck in my head! guess i jux gotta go.

am oso having my chinese o level oral this thurs. which is like 1 day away. freaky!! hope i dun blank out. anything can happen but blank out. dat's the ultimate man! if i blank out, it's all gone. pray that i'll have the courage to go through this once and for all and get an A1! pray for words to flow out of my mouth as i speak. and oso for thoughts to come in quickly and dat i may speak wif wisdom and understanding. actually im kind jittery about this chi oral thing cox i rarely speak chinese. although i can use chim chim words, im unable to gather my thoughts and translate my english ideas to chinese as quickly. pray dat everything will go smoothly this thurs. help me pray oso yea? thanks a lot!
Bubu Jia You!!

Calista
Bubu
City Harvest Church E449
Usher Ministry G3S4
Tpjc 08S07
TPJCanoeist


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