Monday, October 26, 2009
♥ 10:14 PM
there's this article in the latest broader perspective issue which talks about taking responsibility i think there's a lot of truth in that article. But one thing which really stood out to me was this line," If a husband claims that he loves his wife, but his wife doesn't feel loved, the husband does not love the wife."
I've been thinking about this for a few days now and I've decided to accept the fact that this statement may not necessarily be right. Initially when i read this, i really agreed with it because i believe that love should be tangible, real and evident. As in, i believe that the extend of one's love for somebody can be seen/ measured by the amount of time they spend/ the things they give each other/ the thoughts they share because if you really think about it, it seems very natural that if you love someone, you'll want to spend time with them, you'll want to give them priority over yourself, you'll give them the best gifts you can possibly give.
But today i realised that this may not be true. Each person has their own love language. and your love language may not be the same as the person you love. if to that person sharing things or incidents, basically telling you every important event in that person's life, is something that is considered very intimate, but on your part you feel that it's the most basic and normal thing and it's insufficient to make you feel important, isn't it a little unfair to that person to say that he/ she does not think that you are important? so in this case, to better gauge how important you are, maybe it's better to find out whether the things this person does for you makes him/ her more vulnerable to you compared to other people.
But then again, if someone tells you that he/ she does not feel important/ loved, maybe it's really time to find out where has things gone wrong, or maybe put in the extra effort to make things work? cox i think that if someone even bothers to raise the issue means that not all is gone and there's still room for improvement. well, end of the day, i think what's most important is to be real to yourself and others.
anw, to you, sorry. you are very important to me. really. but i like the way things are now. hope that things work out for you and js (: