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Monday, January 08, 2007
♥ 8:13 PM

went for training today. this is e first time when im so not motivated 2 train or improve my skills. e team is facing a crisis and will confirm close down in 2 to 3 years time. although everybody noes that this coming competition will most probably be e last one we will ever play as a team again, all of dem seem unaffected. at least during training. when e news jux got out, everybody were veri upset and were all complaining. but judging from their attitude at training today, i'd rather they jux sit back and not be upset at all bout e closing down news. they all noe dat e competition is jux weeks away yet they jux wanna play games during trainings.

it's not dat im finding fault with their attitude. it's jux dat im realli not a self-motivating person. i can try, but i guarantee it would not last. actually i realli dun mind if they don't wanna take part in competitons. cox as far as im concerned, my cca points are already sufficient. and this isn't e first time im disappointed with them.

frankly speaking, after today's training, i've almost lost all motivation 2 continue training for this coming competition. since right from e beginning my one and only motivation was e team, now that e team doesn't spur me on anymore, it's really hard 4 me to motivate myself. although i noe this will be e last competition i will play as a team, everyone is depending on me, and e last thing i want is 2 regret not giving my all, it's still veri difficult unless all of these come from other ppl besides me. haix.. im realli lousy at this self-motivating thingy. haha!! but dun worry, im not implying that im losing interest in badminton or anything like dat. if i take part in individual events i will still train my best!


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