Monday, March 27, 2006
♥ 9:52 PM
today's veri frustrating.. ARGH!! i cant stand this!!! in sch no mood 2 study, too tired le. morning wake up sorethroat, veri pain. forgot to inform new players of training den they nvr bring racket. so have '2 rush home n get 4 dem. went cca, eric die die oso wanna do things his way. mr khoo suddenly become veri strict. duno wad he say 2 esther oso den make her cry bcoz she nid leave early. den liwen told me she would be late 4 10 min end up late 4 20 min. she told me her cher held her back till 4 n she wanna go eat dat y late. but eric say he saw her 3+ taking bus. i realli duno who 2 believe le.. bu bu is so lost..den when liwen came training i punished her 30 push ups 4 being late and i told her dat i will do with her. coz i blame myself 4 not being strict in e past dat's y she dare 2 come late. den eric say dun do, later den do. den i told him dere's nth liwen can do now except push ups, coz she juz ate n she can onli choose 2 do push ups, run, or do footwork. so i heck care eric n continued doing push ups with liwen. so till bout 20 she stopped le but i still remained at push up position. i ask her continue 2 do. she toked a bit den continued 2 do. she had some breaks in between but i remained at push up position all along. till no. 28 she said she dun wanna do le den she juz got up n walked away. so i got up too n at dat moment i realli felt veri hurt. coz i punish myself 4 her being late yet she did not appreciate dat. b4 she came i and e team ran 10 rounds around e courts and did 2 sets of footwork plus im sick and tired. i endured e training and tried 2 touch other's lives by showing dem dat i care. yet this is wad i get, n eric did not approve of wad i did neither did mr khoo. after dat i turned 2 e sec 2s and asked dem if they had done their 3rd set. they said they did it le. so 2 be fair i went 2 do my 3rd set of footwork. as i was doing i heard dem say,"she veri ke lian leh" den they all got up n did their footwork. all i wanted 2 do is 2 add some love into this cca, into badminton. coz dat was wad made me love badminton so much. i remember when i was in sec 1. i did not have any frenz, i did not wanna go training. but my seniors treated me so nice, they showed me dat they cared, dat they enjoyed playing with me. they made training so fun. they made me love going for trainings so much dat even though i am sick i would still go. 2 e extend whereby my frenz find dat im e onli person in e whole world dat loves my cca so much. and now dat my seniors have left, badminton felt so strange. now im e capt of e team and i wanna change this, i wanna make my team into wad it was 2 yrs ago. but after wad happened today, liwen, esther, eric, mr khoo. i realli duno. they make me feel as though badminton is dead, stale,loveless, black and white. juz like wad it felt like when i juz got in. i realli lost all motivation 2 do anything 4 e team. i went 2 training full of hope, full of ideas 2 change e team, so dat we will train hard n play hard. but nobody gave me e chance. i think i nid 2 stop trying 2 change things 4 awhile.... came home from cca, jacinta told me her cher called up our parents coz jacinta too many days din go sch le they presume dat she is playing truant. they said dat if she still continues like this, they would expel her. my parents were furious. at dat moment i noe im dead already. they would sure be more strict with us from now on. i dun mind dem being strict, but e problem is dat e things whereby they r supposed 2 be strict they heck care and e things whereby they r not suppose 2 care dat much, they care alot. jacinta is a veri gd example. if onli they retsricted more of her phone calls, sms, tok 2 her a bit more, try 2 tolerate her bad temper and tok things out with her, try 2 understand her more, she would not be so unreasonable, bad tempered, ill mannered. i realli dun get it, y is my sister so different from me? everytime she creates a problem i have 2 suffer e consiquences, this is so unfair! when will she learn to grow up?